Junior (not her real name) is an old friend of mine. She's a mental health care practitioner in Salt Lake City and works with homeless clients struggling with debilitating chronic mental illness. Which makes her a superhero, and I am sworn to protect her secret identity.
Frustrated by a chilly reception from a con that used to like me until I outed myself as an indie author (more on that in a future post), I complained to Junior and she invited me to Utah for the Salt Lake Comic Con Fan Xperience held April 17-19.
This was only the second con I've attended and both times I went partly for professional reasons. At FanX, I attended several interesting and useful writing-related panels. (And I can write it all off on my taxes. I think. I'll let my accountant figure that out. I saved my receipts. Rule One: Always save your receipts.)
But it was also just a whole hell of a lot of fun even if we didn't know what was going on half the time. There's a lot of stuff people are into of which we didn't have a clue. I'd elbow Junior and say “Who's that supposed to be?” And she'd squint and think and answer, “Hell if I know.” But we are both stalwart Whedonauts, and old enough to have seen Buffy and Angel on TV during their initial run and still be older than their target demographic. We can sing the Firefly theme song and each own the box set. I think Junior owns some Buffy box sets, too. And she's a superhero.
We are, I suppose, eldergeeks. Which comes with certain advantages, like being able to afford the VIP pass. Which puts you at the front of the line for everything. Plus, in addition to her counseling and administrative powers, Junior has the awesome superpower of being connected by marriage and friendship to the Salt Palace convention center's food service provider. Which put us ahead of the front of the line. Enabling us to get this primo parking spot:
Frustrated by a chilly reception from a con that used to like me until I outed myself as an indie author (more on that in a future post), I complained to Junior and she invited me to Utah for the Salt Lake Comic Con Fan Xperience held April 17-19.
This was only the second con I've attended and both times I went partly for professional reasons. At FanX, I attended several interesting and useful writing-related panels. (And I can write it all off on my taxes. I think. I'll let my accountant figure that out. I saved my receipts. Rule One: Always save your receipts.)
But it was also just a whole hell of a lot of fun even if we didn't know what was going on half the time. There's a lot of stuff people are into of which we didn't have a clue. I'd elbow Junior and say “Who's that supposed to be?” And she'd squint and think and answer, “Hell if I know.” But we are both stalwart Whedonauts, and old enough to have seen Buffy and Angel on TV during their initial run and still be older than their target demographic. We can sing the Firefly theme song and each own the box set. I think Junior owns some Buffy box sets, too. And she's a superhero.
We are, I suppose, eldergeeks. Which comes with certain advantages, like being able to afford the VIP pass. Which puts you at the front of the line for everything. Plus, in addition to her counseling and administrative powers, Junior has the awesome superpower of being connected by marriage and friendship to the Salt Palace convention center's food service provider. Which put us ahead of the front of the line. Enabling us to get this primo parking spot:
Yes, that's the loading dock. We parked in the loading dock.We parked even closer than the reserved parking for media and celebrities thanks to Junior's ultra-exclusive W.I.F.E endorsement to her VIP Pass. Everytime we walked in through the kitchen, I thought of the Copacabana scene from Goodfellas. I'd start humming “And Then He Kissed Me.” And from the kitchens we could walk right into the Salt Palace and bypass the entrance lines completely. At meal times, we'd wander down to the kitchen to the staff food line and they'd feed us. Check out my Saturday lunch:

I'm gluten and dairy intolerant. Being able to access tasty and healthy meals that I knew were safe because I'd talked to the chef who was used to feeding staff with the same food issues was a huge perk, let me tell you.
The only hiccup came on the first day when I dropped my cell phone in the toilet right before we left Junior's house for the Salt Palace. It succumbed to its injury and has since been replaced. I had a few tense moments when I lost track of Junior and other companions in the Exhibit Hall until I remembered that, even without a cell phone, I'm all grown up, I have money and credit cards and can call cabs and stuff. Or I could just go hang out in the kitchen until she showed up.
I found her eventually and all was well. The high point for Junior was getting her Spike-quotes coffee mug autographed by James Marsters. He put quotation marks around Junior's favorite line: “Out. For. A. Walk. Bitch.” (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, watch Buffy. Start with Season One. You're welcome.) He was absolutely charming by the way. In his Q&A session he was warm, funny, kind, and articulate. He even used the word “cogently” correctly in a sentence. While discussing quantum physics. We. Were. Impressed. And anybody who can make Junior smile that much is aces in my book.
The high point for me was that parking space. And the Goodfellas walk through the kitchen every morning. Mostly because nobody but us got to do it. Petty, I realize, but then I'm no superhero. I'm just the sidekick.
The only hiccup came on the first day when I dropped my cell phone in the toilet right before we left Junior's house for the Salt Palace. It succumbed to its injury and has since been replaced. I had a few tense moments when I lost track of Junior and other companions in the Exhibit Hall until I remembered that, even without a cell phone, I'm all grown up, I have money and credit cards and can call cabs and stuff. Or I could just go hang out in the kitchen until she showed up.
I found her eventually and all was well. The high point for Junior was getting her Spike-quotes coffee mug autographed by James Marsters. He put quotation marks around Junior's favorite line: “Out. For. A. Walk. Bitch.” (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, watch Buffy. Start with Season One. You're welcome.) He was absolutely charming by the way. In his Q&A session he was warm, funny, kind, and articulate. He even used the word “cogently” correctly in a sentence. While discussing quantum physics. We. Were. Impressed. And anybody who can make Junior smile that much is aces in my book.
The high point for me was that parking space. And the Goodfellas walk through the kitchen every morning. Mostly because nobody but us got to do it. Petty, I realize, but then I'm no superhero. I'm just the sidekick.